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born 1872

Emily Post was not always synonymous with social decorum and no-nonsense manners. Until middle age, she was a moneyed daughter, a socialite inhabitant of Henry James's Washington Square, a wealthy wife and mother of two. 

It was her rocky marriage to financier Edwin Post...and its spectacular public breakup ~ with more than a whiff of blackmail and infidelity ~ that led the long-time writer to produce a book that cemented her as America's heroine of good taste. Etiquette, originally published in the early 1920's and now in its 18th edition, is still found on bookshelves in homes and businesses.

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book | Emily Post's Etiquette, 18th ed. | Post's great-great grandchildren | October 18, 2011 shop
biography | Emily Post: Daughter of the Gilded Age, Mistress of American Manners | Laura Claridge | shop
Etiquette | Emily Post | 1922

her quotes

all quotes by Emily Post (15)

"I really quite honestly hope that everything will not be so easy as to be entirely colorless."

By Motor to the Golden Gate | 1916

"Etiquette must, if it is to be of more than trifling use, include ethics as well as manners."

Etiquette In Society, In Business, In Politics And At Home | july 1922

"Try to do and say those things only which will be agreeable to others."

Etiquette in Society, in Business, in Politics and at Home | july 1922

"Etiquette, remember, is merely a collection of forms by which all personal contacts in life are made smooth."

Etiquette | july 1922

"Life, whether social or business, is a bank in which you deposit certain funds of character, intellect and heart; or other funds of egotism, hard-heartedness and unconcern...You can draw nothing out but what you have put in."

Etiquette | july 1922

"Ideal conversation must be an exchange of thought, and not, as many of those who worry most about their shortcomings believe, an eloquent exhibition of wit or oratory."

Etiquette in Society, in Business, in Politics, and at Home | july 1922

"If you know any one who is gay, beguiling and amusing, you will, if you are wise, do everything you can to make him prefer your house and your table to any other; for where he is, the successful party is also."

Etiquette in Society, in Business, in Politics and at Home | july 1922

"Only the very small mind hesitates to say 'I don't know.'"

Etiquette in Society, in Business, in Politics and at Home | july 1922

"There is no reason why you should be bored when you can be otherwise."

Etiquette | july 1922

"If you find yourself sitting in the hedgerow with nothing but weeds, there is no reason for shutting your eyes and seeing nothing, instead of finding what beauty you may in the weeds."

Etiquette | july 1922

"Life is too short to waste it in drawing blanks...It is up to you to find as many pictures to put on your blank pages as possible."

Etiquette | july 1922

"Training a child is exactly like training a puppy; a little heedless inattention and it is out of hand immediately."

Etiquette | july 1922

"Nothing appeals to children more than justice."

Etiquette | july 1922

"Dahlias really make me sick!"

in the garden | july 1928

"Etiquette is the science of living. It embraces everything. It is the code of sportsmanship and of honor. It is ethics."

The New York Times | september 1960

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for further reading about Emily Post:

  • Quotabelle profile
  • Emily Post

curated with care by Meghan Miller Brawley {august 2014}

book | By Motor to the Golden Gate | 1916

Emily Post's notes on California from her 1916 travel book, By Motor to the Golden Gate. She traveled with her son Ned, who drove, and her cousin Alice Beadleston, and serialized the journey for Collier's magazine. The book, an expanded account of the 27-day trip, was her first nonfiction book.

Emily Post

photo | afternoon tea table | Etiquette | 1922

In 1922, at the age of 50, Emily Post published the book which would define her for the rest of her life, and beyond, as an arbiter of taste and manners. The chapter on afternoon tea is not so different from today's domestic blogs, with its precise and idealized picture of home life ~ although today's blogs feature fewer footmen! "There is not the slightest difference in its service whether in the tiny bandbox house of the newest bride, or in the drawing-room of Mrs. Worldly of Great Estates, except that in the little house the tray is brought in by a woman—often a picture in appearance and appointment—instead of a butler with one or two footmen in his wake."

Emily Post, Etiquette in Society, in Business, in Politics, and at Home | Funk & Wagnalls | 1922

her garden | Edgartown, Massachusetts

Emily Post's "haven of delectable tranquility" was her cottage on Martha's Vineyard, where she spent summers. She purchased the home in 1927, and spent much of her time in the garden (about which she wrote "dahlias make me sick!") and decorating ~ and wearing shoes as red as these dahlias. She got her zeal for architecture and interior design from her father, a prominent architect.

Art Poskanzer

CC BY

radio broadcast

The success of Etiquette led to a radio show that ran through much of the 1930s, and a syndicated newspaper column. In 1946, Emily founded the Emily Post Institute to further the study of manners. The Institute is run by her descendants today, and encompasses an etiquette empire of everything from books to seminars to an encyclopedia.

Emily Post Institute

film | Table Manners | Emily Post | Christy Assoc., Inc. | 1947

Emily Post narrates a demonstration of correct table manners, including the proper use of finger bowls and the polite way to smoke at the dinner table, in this 1947 instructional filmstrip. Despite the few outdated pieces, the overall advice is still timely. Post makes an appearance in her Edgartown, Massachusetts garden at the beginning, saying, "Most people are at ease in their own homes, but often are confused at a dinner party."

Christy Associates, Inc. | Emily Post Institute | Prelinger Archives